Thursday 30 October 2014

Anonymous Submissions - - One Final Release

The following may be triggering for some to read. I chose to publish because there may be others out there struggling who can relate to the writer. Please be kind in your comments. & nbsp;

I was afraid to submit my post out of fear. Not my own fear mind you. The fear I may instill on the folks reading it. You see, I have had suicidal thoughts for months now. I have depression.The bad days far outweigh any other day at this point and so, the dark thoughts keep making a comeback. Rather, they never seem to leave. I need a break.

I have actually gone as far as doing research on the different methods. Which work and which don't. Pills are too risky because 9 times out of 10 your body rejects what you put into it and you end up vomiting what you've swallowed. Then you have to go through the torturous process of having your stomach pumped and facing the fact that you failed at failing. You're too stupid to even kill yourself. No, you need the right combination to be successful here.

Most who attempt cutting their wrists fail because of the pain. Plus, it's messy. & nbsp;

Drive your car into a tree? Nope. I have fantasized about driving on the highway going 90 and finding two big trucks driving side by side. I could attempt driving in between the two so one takes me out and the other tips over on top of my car. But I'd be risking other people's lives in the process. And if I survived the incident, I'd be charged with manslaughter because my luck blows and one of the other drivers would end up dead instead of me.

Hanging is the way to go. With the right noose and a good place to hang it, your neck would break instantly and out you go. I've debated where I would do this and decided a bridge with water beneath is the right choice. I wouldn't want anyone I know to find me so home or work is out of the question.

Aside from researching the best way to do it I read stories of people who have failed or the stories of the loved ones the successful doer left behind. Death stories of all kinds. All kinds.

Am I going to harm myself? I hope not but if shit doesn't stop being so dark and ugly all of the time, what choice do I have?

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This is the fifthth Anonymous Submissions post here at 2 Much Testosterone! Do you have something you want to get off your chest and want to do so anonymously? Email me at lotsOspermies@live.com and I'll get that going for you.
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