Panic Room

My head is spinning.
My heart is vibrating in my chest.
I think I can hear it.
I'm shaking but I'm not cold.
Every few moments it feels like I'm going to shiver but then I begin to sweat.
Thoughts race.
Invasive thoughts.
On the verge of tears.
Walking is difficult.
I thought it was hunger so I ate.
I fought the urge all morning to swallow you.
You make me feel better in a very short period of time.
But then my body feels like lead.
So heavy.
I just sit and stare.
Stare at nothing, yet taking it all in.
The thoughts continue but they move in slow motion.
Feels like I'm running in place.
Scared.
Nervous.
Paranoid.
They're reading my thoughts again.
Oh God, when they hear what I'm thinking they're going to take me away.
What was that?
Did you see that?
Did you hear that?
I'm angry.
I am so damn mad.
I want this fixed.
I want it to go away.
Tired of being tired.
Lonely but not alone.
Everything is just slightly out of reach.
Make it stop.
I think if I start crying today I won't be able to stop.
Twitching.
Sometimes twitching because I swallowed you and the lead makes me forget limbs are attached.
Sleep now.
Sleep.
Oh, I wish but there's still so much to do.
The day has only half begun....