Left message 9am for Dr. Psych
No call back. No call back. No call back.
12:30pm Got enough courage to call the doctor again.
Nurse: He'll call you between patients.
Me: It's been 2 1/2 hours. I don't think you are taking me seriously!
Nurse: It's not like we didn't give him the message!
? ? ?
Hung up, swallowed Xanax. Twittered. Facebooked. Reached out to anyone who would answer who I didn't have to actually talk to with voice.
1:00pm PPD Chat at Cafe Mom. BIG help! Made promise to the girls to do yoga for at least five minutes tonight with the baby and to bake. Baking is therapy, although not for my hips. Pumpkin Bread and maybe chocolate chip cookies. Pictures and recipes to follow on Friday. I promised after all!
2:00pm (ish) Dr. Psych called back. Remember, I have a hard time making ANY decisions lately. He presented me with way too many:
- Albifiy - An anti-psychotic I can take with my current dose of Zoloft to "move things along". Downside is involuntary twitching limbs, increased appetite, weight gain, to name a few. OH and it's very expensive, $50, no generic available.
- Wellbutrin - Another antidepressant to take with my current dose of Zoloft to attack the parts of my mind that Zoloft isn't taking care of.
- Increase Zoloft to 150mg and take Xanax on a regular basis until the new dose kicks in. Downside is if I start to feel better in a day or two it's probably from my previous dose kicking in and I could downward spiral in the following weeks.
3:00pm My ultra supportive husband called me, he pulled an all nighter the night before. I cried. He listened. He encouraged. He wrapped me in his love. He confirmed my decision was right. I made him promise that if ever there comes a time where I start rambling, not making sense, doing things in a strange manner, anything of the sort... That he would take me to the hospital. It won't come to that, but still.
I wanted to let you all know. You have been so supportive and really cheering me on. Tomorrow is a new day.
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